What to Consider Before Saying “I Do”?
Engagements are wonderfully exciting! Valentine’s Day proposals, wedding plans, moving in together, it all feels hopeful and full of excitement for what comes next. Most couples at this stage are naturally focused on the emotional side of commitment: love, trust, and building a life together. What tends to get less attention is the legal reality behind that commitment.
In British Columbia (BC), being married or living together as a committed couple, comes with automatic legal consequences. These rules apply whether couples talk about them or not, and regardless of whether they feel relevant at the time.
This article isn’t about planning for things to go wrong, but about planning for things to go well. It’s about understanding the legal landscape before you say, ‘I do,’ so you can make informed decisions and have these conversations while things are good—not later, if the relationship were to break down and emotions were running high.
Marriage—and Even Living Together—Creates Legal Obligations
While marriage is deeply personal, it also carries legal consequences — most of which are set out in the Divorce Act.
However, you don’t have to be married to be considered “spouses” for certain legal purposes in BC. Under the Family Law Act, couples who have lived together in a marriage-like relationship for two or more years, or who have a child together, may already be treated as spouses.
In either case, these Acts may determine:
- How property is divided if you separate.
- How increases in asset value during the relationship are treated.
- How debts are shared.
- And, whether spousal support may be payable.
The key takeaway here is that if you don’t make your own agreement about these key issues ahead of time, the law will make one for you.
What’s Included in Prenup and Cohabitation Agreements
A prenuptial agreement is a contract between partners who plan to marry.
A cohabitation agreement is a similar contract for couples who are living together.
Both types of agreements allow you to decide, together, how certain issues will be handled if the relationship ends.
These agreements commonly address:
- Protecting pre-existing assets like property, investments, or businesses.
- Property ownership and division.
- How debts will be treated, and who will be responsible for which debts.
- Whether spousal support will be paid, limited, or waived, and in what circumstances.
- How any asset growth will be handled, whether kept separate or shared in some way.
- Or, how children from previous relationships inherit any assets intended for them.
Despite common myths, these agreements are not just for ’the rich’. They are often especially helpful where:
- One partner owns property or a business.
- There is a difference in income or earning capacity.
- One partner is entering the relationship with more debt.
- Or, there are children from a prior relationship.
At their core, these agreements are about predictability and fairness, not expecting the worst. They can also reduce conflict later on because both partners understand the expectations from the start.
Things to Talk About Before the Ring
One of the most valuable parts of creating a prenup or cohabitation agreement is the process of coming together with your partner and having an open, honest conversation about what you want your future to look like.
Some helpful topics to discuss include:
- How you expect to manage finances — will you combine everything, keep some things separate, or take a blended approach?
- What each partner is bringing into the relationship — do you have significant assets like houses, cars, or investment accounts? What about debts such as credit cards, lines of credit, or other loans?
- How transparent you want to be with each other about assets, debts, and financial obligations.
- What happens if circumstances change — for example, if one partner changes careers, steps back from work, or gets a significant raise.
These conversations shouldn’t feel uncomfortable; they should be positive and collaborative. Having them early, when trust is high, often strengthens the relationship rather than undermining it. Being clear with each other from the outset will also help any lawyer you work with craft an agreement that truly fits your circumstances.
How to Make Your Prenup Legally Binding
For a prenuptial or cohabitation agreement to be enforceable in BC, it must meet certain legal requirements. Otherwise, the agreement could be challenged or even set aside later (meaning a court may decide it isn’t valid and choose not to enforce it).
This is where many couples run into trouble, particularly with templated or online agreements. To reduce that risk, a valid agreement generally requires the following:
- It must be in writing – verbal agreements or informal understandings are not enough to be enforceable regarding key issues.
- Independent legal advice - each person must speak with their own lawyer, independent from the other. That lawyer explains what rights they may be giving up, confirms they understand the agreement, and ensures they are not entering into anything under pressure or duress.
- Full and honest financial disclosure - both partners need a clear picture of each other’s assets, debts, and income so they enter negotiations on equal footing. This transparency ensures everyone understands the financial reality of the relationship. Hiding or downplaying information can seriously undermine an agreement later.
- Entered into voluntarily - if one person felt pressured, rushed, or had no real opportunity to seek proper legal advice, the agreement may not hold up if it’s later challenged in court.
Put simply, courts want to see that both people knew what they were signing, had time to consider it, and made an informed decision.
Why Templated or Online Prenups Often Miss the Mark
Many couples today explore online or app-based prenup tools before speaking with a lawyer, and they often share those experiences when they eventually meet with family lawyers after the fact. It makes sense in today’s world: these tools are accessible, quick, and marketed as “simple, cost-effective solutions”. The use of AI tools can further speed up the process, but it can also introduce new challenges that aren’t obvious from the outset.
The issue isn’t that these tools exist and continue to evolve. The issue is that family law in does not lend itself well to templates, and the risks are not always obvious from the beginning. Most online marriage agreement tools rely on standardized language and limited inputs that have never been tested in court. They tend assume that finances, relationships, and future plans can be reduced to checkboxes – but in reality, relationships are rarely simple enough to fit into a standard template.
As a result, templates — and more broadly, assistive AI tools — often fail to properly address important issues such as unequal financial positions, business ownership or professional corporations, potential career interruptions, inheritances or family gifts, or children from previous relationships. A well drafted agreement should reflect your circumstances, your concerns, and your intentions — not an average scenario.
And while templated prenups often look cost-effective upfront, they frequently lead to confusion and disputes later. When a family law agreement is unclear or poorly tailored, it can result in:
- Litigation over interpretation.
- Arguments about unclear terms.
- Insufficient financial disclosure.
- Failure to address future changes.
- Applications to have agreements set aside.
- Expensive legal battles with unpredictable outcomes.
- Or, potential loss of assets you thought were protected.
At that point, any initial cost savings disappear quickly. In the context of potential future litigation, the risk of templated agreements is simply too high.
Prenups Aren’t “Set It and Forget It” Documents
It is also important to understand that prenups and cohabitation agreements aren’t something you sign once and never think about again. Life changes, and sometimes the agreement should too.
You may want to review or update your agreement if there is a significant life change, such as having children, acquiring or selling major assets, starting or selling a business, career changes, or receiving an inheritance.
Revisiting an agreement at the right time helps ensure it continues to reflect what feels fair and workable for both partners.
What If You Didn’t Sign an Agreement Before Marriage?
This comes up often. If you didn’t sign a prenuptial agreement before getting married or moving in together, you still have options. Couples in BC can enter into what is referred to as a ‘postnuptial agreement.’ While these agreements can offer flexibility, they must still meet the same legal standards as prenuptial agreements to ensure they remain legally binding and enforceable, including full financial disclosure and independent legal advice.
When Should We Speak to a Family Lawyer?
It’s best to speak with a lawyer before moving in together, purchasing property as a couple, and especially before wedding plans are finalized. Speaking to your partner early on will help ensure you get a sense of their expectations when it comes to important life issues like children, money, and support in unforeseen circumstances. Early conversations allow for better planning and can significantly reduce stress on both partners.
Talking about legal planning before marriage or cohabitation isn’t unromantic — it’s a sign of responsibility and care for your future together. When approached thoughtfully, it becomes part of building a solid foundation as a couple.
If you are considering your next steps, reach out to one of the experienced family lawyers at Crossroads Law for a free 20minute consult so we can help ensure your legal rights are protected before you say ‘I do.’
The information contained in this blog is not legal advice and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject. The information provided in this blog is for informational purposes only.
