Parenting Plans: How to Create One That Works for Your Family
By Chyanne Sharma, Family Lawyer, Vancouver
Back-to-school season is exciting for kids—but for many separated or divorced parents, it can also bring a new wave of questions: Which school will the kids attend? Who’s handling pickup and drop-off? How will extracurricular activities fit into the schedule? When you’re navigating these details between two households, the logistics can feel overwhelming.
This is where a solid parenting plan can make all the difference. Separation and divorce are never easy—especially when children are involved—but having a clear, written agreement for how you’ll care for your children helps take the guesswork out of these everyday decisions. A well-crafted parenting plan reduces confusion, prevents conflict, and keeps things running smoothly for everyone involved.
What is a Parenting Plan?
A parenting plan is a detailed agreement that explains how you and your co-parent will share responsibilities and time with your children after separation or divorce. Most parenting plans are developed by the parents with support from a family lawyer or mediator, ensuring they are thorough and practical. These plans can remain informal or be made official through the court.
Under the BC Family Law Act, the focus is always on the best interests of the child. Parenting plans help support that by:
- Providing structure and consistency for children.
- Reducing confusion and conflict between parents.
- Encouraging cooperation and communication.
You can include almost anything in a parenting plan, as long as it relates to the care of your children. Common examples include a holiday and special occasions schedule, pick-up and drop-off arrangements, restrictions or conditions for travel (both local and international), and clear steps for resolving disagreements. You can also set out how often the plan will be reviewed and updated to ensure it continues to meet your family’s needs.
Why Do You Need a Parenting Plan?
One of the most important reasons to create a parenting plan is that it puts your child first by encouraging parents to sit down together and really think through what will work best for them. Children thrive on routine and stability, especially during times of change. Having a clear plan in place helps create a smoother, more predictable schedule for everyone. It gives children a clear sense of what to expect and helps them feel secure in both homes. Without a plan, even simple decisions such as who picks the kids up from school can quickly cause tension.
A parenting plan also protects both parents by clearly outlining responsibilities and schedules. When everything is written down and agreed upon, there is less chance of miscommunication or one parent feeling taken advantage of. Even if you and your ex are on good terms, having a written parenting plan can help avoid misunderstandings and confusion down the road. It also provides a legal safeguard, allowing you to enforce the agreement if communication breaks down or one parent breaches the terms.
What to Include in a Parenting Plan
There’s no one-size-fits-all parenting plan. A good plan is tailored to your child’s needs and considers your work schedules, the distance between homes, and how you communicate as co-parents.
Here are some essential points to cover:
1. Parenting Time – Where Your Child Lives and When
- Weekly schedule (e.g., weekdays with one parent, weekends with the other).
- Holiday arrangements (e.g., Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays).
- Summer vacations and school breaks.
- Special occasions (e.g., Mother’s Day, Father’s Day).
- Pick-up and drop-off times and locations.
2. Decision-Making Responsibilities – Who Decides What
- Decisions about education, healthcare, religion, and extracurricular activities.
- Whether major decisions will be made jointly or by one parent.
3. Communication – How You’ll Stay in Touch
- How parents will communicate about the child (e.g., phone, email, parenting apps).
- How children will contact the other parent when they’re not together.
- Guidelines for social media and technology use.
4. Expenses and Financial Responsibilities – Beyond Child Support
- Decide who will cover costs for school supplies, sports, music lessons, and other activities.
- Agree on how unexpected expenses will be shared.
5. Travel and Relocation – Moving or Taking Trips
- Rules for travel out of town or out of the country.
- How much notice must be given before travel.
- What happens if one parent wants to move.
6. Problem-Solving and Changes – Keeping the Plan Flexible
- How disagreements will be handled.
- How often you’ll review or update the plan.
- Whether mediation or court will be used if issues arise.
What If You Can’t Agree?
If you and your co-parent are struggling to create a parenting plan, you’re not alone. There are several options that can help you move forward:
- Family Mediation – A neutral third party who supports you by guiding constructive discussions between you and your co-parent, helping you reach an agreement that works for everyone. In BC, Family Justice Counsellors offer free mediation services and can assist with creating a parenting plan.
- Parenting Coordinators – These professionals help you create a parenting plan, put it into action, and manage it over time, especially if conflict continues.
- Court Orders – When agreement isn’t possible, a judge can make decisions based on what’s in the best interests of your child. This option is usually a last resort, but it can provide clarity and finality when needed.
Updating Your Parenting Plan
Parenting plans are not meant to last forever. As life changes, your plan may need to change too — and that’s completely normal. Common times to update your plan include when:
- Your child starts or changes school.
- One parent moves or changes work hours.
- Your child’s needs shift as they grow.
- New partners or step-siblings become part of the picture.
It’s a good idea to review your parenting plan every year or two to make sure it continues to meet your family’s needs and supports your child’s best interests.
Tips for Making a Parenting Plan That Works
Creating a parenting plan takes teamwork, honesty, and a focus on what’s best for your children. One of the most important tips is to keep your child at the center of every decision. Consider their age, personality, routine, and emotional needs — not just your own preferences.
Be realistic about what you can manage. If your job has long or unpredictable hours, build that into your schedule to avoid disappointing your child or causing tension with the other parent.
Keep the plan flexible. Children grow, routines change, parents change jobs, and family circumstances shift. Your plan should be able to adapt when needed.
No matter how well you and your co-parent get along now, always put the plan in writing.
And finally, get legal advice. Even if you’re not going to court, having a lawyer review your parenting plan can help ensure it’s fair, practical, and truly supports your child’s best interests.
A parenting plan is more than just a piece of paper — it’s a powerful tool to help your child feel secure and supported after a separation or divorce. It gives both parents a clear path forward and helps reduce stress, confusion, and conflict. Most importantly, it keeps your child’s best interests at the heart of every decision.
Whether you’re just starting the separation process or updating an existing arrangement, taking the time to create a thoughtful, detailed parenting plan can make all the difference. The experienced family lawyers and mediators at Crossroads Law can guide you through the process — helping you address the details, avoid common pitfalls, and create an arrangement that works for your family. Reach out to us today to book your free 20-minute consultation. We’ll help you develop a plan that supports your child, reduces conflict, and sets a positive foundation for the future.
